


Let It Live

by AbschaumNo1



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: But they get fixed, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, We Die Like Men, Zouchies, not edited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 07:02:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28649493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbschaumNo1/pseuds/AbschaumNo1
Summary: "It still hurts, doesn't it?"The voice is soft, almost blown away by the gentle breeze blowing over the Cowmercial District. Zed swallows before he turns to look at Grian."Why would it hurt? I'm happy for them," he says, and maybe if he says it often enough he will start to believe it one day.
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Zedaph/Grian
Comments: 12
Kudos: 105





	Let It Live

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Let it die](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28646460) by [thp_cara (TheHolosexualPan)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHolosexualPan/pseuds/thp_cara). 



> I read Cara's masterpiece and I needed to fix it.
> 
> I wrote this in like four hours and didn't edit.

"It still hurts, doesn't it?"  
The voice is soft, almost blown away by the gentle breeze blowing over the Cowmercial District. Zed swallows before he turns to look at Grian.  
"Why would it hurt? I'm happy for them," he says, and maybe if he says it often enough he will start to believe it one day.  
"I know. But it still hurts."  
Grian's eyes are not even on him, looking out over the buildings below them, until they find two specs of colour, their gaudy shirts almost as much of an eyesore from afar than from up close, the gold ring on Mumbo's finger glistening in the sunlight as he laughs at whatever Iskall is teasing him with. Grian turns his head to meet Zed's eyes and for once the smile he gives him doesn't reach his eyes.  
"I...I didn't realise," Zed says, his voice as soft as Grian's was before.  
"The only one I ever told was Scar." Grian stares into the distance for a moment. "But you never told anyone, did you? You've been trying to deal with it on your own."  
Zed looks away, ashamed almost that he clearly didn't trust any of the others enough to confide in them and let them help him.  
Grian's hand is gentle on his shoulder before he pulls Zed in and wraps his arms around him in a hug.  
"I get it," he says. "Scar only knows because I slipped up and he caught me crying in my base. I don't think any of the others suspect about you."  
Zed hugs him back, almost too tight probably, but he can feel the tears come back and he doesn't know if he's ready for Grian to see that much.  
"I just…" he starts and trails off again, because he doesn't even know how to end that sentence. And then, because he knows Grian will get it. "How do I make it stop?"  
Grian's arms tighten around him and he can hear him swallow.  
"I don't know," he says honestly. "But if you want to we can try and find out together."  
Zed nods, still hiding his face against Grian's shoulder.  
"Come," Grian says, "let's go to my base. You look like you need some time away from them."  
He releases Zed who wipes his tears away, something already relaxing in his chest because he doesn't have to hide with Grian.  
Grian squeezes his hand before he lets go of it and Zed follows him as he speeds off towards the Mesa, to Ren's portal there, mercifully taking the way that is the least likely to have them running into anyone.

Zed has never had much opportunity to hang out with Grian before. He had been too wrapped up in Impulse and Tango, and Grian had always been up to something, first with Iskall and Mumbo, more recently with Scar and sometimes Cub. But the more time they spend together, the more he learns about him, the more they both relax around each other.  
Grian's laugh is infectious, his ideas rival Zed's own, and his builds still stun Zed into silence every once in a while. The towering mansion at the edge of the jungle is magnificent and grand and over the top, but Zed early on realises that it's empty, missing its soul. As if Grian's heart hasn't been fully in it when he built it. And Zed gets it, he only has to look at his own base, his own contraptions and he can see it in them too.  
And maybe they both need to do something about that.  
Eventually. Right now they're still working out the details of this friendship and learn the small quirks about each other.  
Sometimes Scar joins them when he's tired from a day of raising entire islands from the sea or whatever he is currently working on, and Zed was almost afraid at first, worried Scar would accidentally poke at a wound that he thinks might slowly start to scab. But Scar doesn't say a word about him being there, and while Zed is sure he must have figured out at least part of it, Scar gives no indication that he thinks something is wrong.  
It makes Zed relax, and only when he and Scar leave later that night and Zed's back on the way to his base, he realises that he hasn't felt like he had to hide something from them all evening. It's a different kind of ache in his chest when he thinks about how he still has to keep his expressions and emotions in check when he sees Tango and Impulse some days, just so they won't see his hurt, his heart-break. How his two best friends can never know.  
He has to focus to shoot the target block to enter his base from above and he he has to smile when he slowly glides to the ground of his cave, the memories of hermits trying to do the very same thing, of Impulse speeding over to try and the laughs they had shared, of Grian showing off his flying skills and pulling Zed along to join him in the skies, the laughter that had run around the peak. They're all fond memories, and when he bends down to pet Clifford he thinks that maybe he should clean it up and finish it properly.  
Maybe tomorrow. It's been a long evening after all.

"I wanted to fill it together with them," Grian admits when Zed asks about his plans for the inside of the mansion. "But it was never going to happen."  
"I'll help you if you want," Zed offers. "I'm not as good at building and designing maybe, but I can help do the lifting and I can follow a plan if I have one."  
Grian looks surprised, but he gives the mansion a considering look and mutters, "We'll see."  
Grian's plans for the inside turn out as grand as the outside, and Zed would regret offering his help if Grian didn't look so truly happy with it all.  
He asks Zed for his input when he can't decide and Zed's so wrapped up in their shared work he almost forgets to cancel his weekly get together with Tango. When he does it's almost a little absent-minded, his mind already focused on the next part of the interior they want to assemble. He doesn't even read Tango's reply until the next morning.  
He and Grian had collapsed into the opulent bed in the master bedroom together after Grian had told him to just sleep here instead of risking to travel home. It had taken them both only moments after lying down to fall asleep.  
Zed wakes with an armful of Grian, his arm thrown across Zed's chest, their legs intertwined, a damp spot on his shirt where Grian's head is resting against his shoulder. And before he can get stuck on how natural it feels, he closes his eyes again and goes back to sleep.  
He's there when Grian shows Scar around the first time. And he keeps to the back, but Grian makes a joke about being indecisive that Zed laughs along to, and he catches the way Scar looks between them, as if he's considering something, and he can't help but wonder what it is he sees. If it's maybe the same thing that had Zed's heart speed up when he woke with Grian cuddled up to him.

In the end it's Scar and Cub who help them out, setting them up much like Zed had set up Tango and Impulse so long ago, though with less heartbreak this time.  
And Zed's a little confused at first, especially once he realises Grian's blush almost rivals his red sweater, but it all starts to make sense when Grian mutters, "I told him not to."  
He almost wants to say something, but before he can Grian is wringing his hands in his lap and stutters out, "So uh, I uh, I wanted to tell you something."  
And Zed knows what he's going to say, and he reaches out to gently pry apart his fingers.  
"Me too," he says simply, and he can see Grian relax, can watch the way his face shifts until he's grinning happily.  
And when he pulls him in to kiss him, Grian comes easily and he leans into it with a happy laugh on his lips that Zed can feel against his mouth and that warms him to his toes.  
And he knows this he can let live.

**Author's Note:**

> You can also find me on [tumblr.](https://abschaumno1.tumblr.com)


End file.
